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  • Writer's pictureChante Jero

City Girl...?

If you know me well, you know music drives me. It’s my happy place; it helps me process sadness, motivates me, helps me understand angry. Music is more of a lifeline than just a thing to enjoy.

Often a specific song will be the primary catalyst to a massive change in my life. Here is a song that got me thinking about myself, who I truly am, and who I genuinely want to be. I realized that you shouldn’t want to run away from your life. Sure there will be moments when you feel that way, but when that feeling is reoccurring more and more frequently…? Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate some life choices.

If you know me at all, you probably rolled your eyes when I changed my Facebook page to “City Girl” as I’m about as far from a city girl as the Hillbillies whosits that somehow end up with money and move from the backwaters to the city. It’s a show that I’m vaguely familiar with, primarily because of a pig on it.

To most, I’m not a city girl, as I’ve never truly lived in an urban community. And the idea of that lifestyle is both intoxicating and abhorrent! But on the flip side of that, I’ve never really been a country girl either. And that lifestyle is also both intoxicating and nauseating, but I think that has more to do with the smell it conjures more than anything else.

Maybe a more appropriate title would have been “suburban girl who wanted to live a romanticized ‘city’ life but has decided country life is for me.” But that doesn’t have the same ring to it.

For the last 15 years, I have tried to model the perfect suburban person. I dressed in socially accepted clothing—doing something with my hair or possibly wearing makeup because society dictated this as desired. I’ve tried this beauty tidbit and chased that diet fad most of my adult life. I’ve been living the stereotypical city person’s life.

It took me a long time to finally feel accepted in my role in society. But I still didn’t feel what I thought it should feel like when you achieve the things I thought everyone wanted. I still felt like I wanted to run away. I then had to start to evaluate my life and where I stood, what I valued. It was then that I realized that I was trying to live within a stereotype.

If you have ever had an in-depth conversation with me, you know, I will apologetically use stereotypes to illustrate an image, and I will explain to you that I don’t hold people to stereotypes. But when I tell you, “Matt looks like a stereotypical lumberjack,” you get a specific image in your mind. And that image in your head wouldn’t be far from accurate when describing Matt. But he’s not a lumberjack.

I realized that I wasn’t just using stereotypes to create an illustration anymore, but almost like a road map or a recipe to happiness. Using stereotypes to define one’s life, especially when one knows that stereotypes don’t work like that, is confusing.

Before meeting Matt, I was in the space of wanting to get rid of everything I owned that no longer “made sense” with my idea of life while also holding on with the grasp of never wanting to let go. Meeting Matt and being thrust into his world, I started to see how strongly I held onto what I thought society deemed I should, but not what *I* wanted out of life. And I realized just how detrimental that was to my well-being.

Giving my blog the title “Adventures of a City Girl” is my way of attempting to break free from the stereotypes I was holding myself to. A way to own who I am even if it doesn’t seem to fit a specific “mold.”

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